I am a unique individual. I am Democrat, Republican, Conservative, and Liberal. I am the Left; the Right.
I am a Theist, and a Fundamentalist. I am pragmatic and idealistic.
On February 5 2014 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.
So - Get out of way - I am coming out with my boxing gloves on...

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10.30.2010

The Traits of a Real Man

I try to spend one day a week reading something inspirational , such as Theology; or something of interest, such as understanding myself and/or others.

Today I ran across Mocha Dad. After his daughter was born, he began a journey of self-improvement. He stated; “The greatest compliment that a father can get from his daughter is ‘I want to marry someone just like you‘.”

I couldn’t help borrowing some of his post on the traits of a real man.


Compassion –
Compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. In other words, you feel compelled to help someone who is hurting. Men aren’t often viewed as being compassionate, but it is a trait that helps us to become more connected to the people around us. Real men turn their compassion into service and work to make the world a better place.

Confidence – Real men are confident. Many people confuse confidence with arrogance and self-centeredness. Real men know the difference. Confidence is about being self-assured and self-aware. Confident men have faith in their abilities and knowledge. They don’t need to tear others down in order to build themselves up. They earn people’s trust with their radiant, inner strength. When a they walk into the room, everyone takes notice.

Humility – Today’s breed of young men loves to let everyone know how much swagger they have. They thump their chests and proclaim to the world, “I’m a Big Deal. Look at me!” Real men understand the value of being humble and letting someone else’s light shine. They realize that humility is more endearing than self-importance. Humility indicates that you are ridding yourself of the poison of self-centeredness. Besides, Humility softens the blow when someone knocks you off your pedestal.

Integrity – Integrity is more than being honest. It’s a lifestyle set on striving towards moral excellence. Real men say what they mean and mean what they say. They are the same person whether or not others are watching. They are trustworthy, dependable, and unwavering.

Self-control – Hardly a day goes by without a news report about some high-profile man who has been destroyed by sex, money, and/or drugs. Too many men lack self-control, but it is the foundation of a virtuous life. Self-control starts with focus and ridding yourself of distractions. Doing this isn’t easy because temptations lurk around every corner. Real men are able to tame their desires and channel that energy into positive pursuits.



Would you feel blessed that your daughter married someone just like you?


Would you be proud having a son who grew up to be just like you?




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10.23.2010

Shame… Shame… Shame…

We all think of firefighters as a special breed - the men who are called upon at any minute to run into a burning building -  risking their own lives - to save a complete stranger.

They are supposed to be heroes…So when you hear a story such as this, it’s disheartening…

Dwight C. Jackson, a Henderson Nevada Fireman was paid a salary from taxpayers’ dollars. Yet he failed to pay his share - not for those men who stood beside him risking their own lives and not for the citizens of Henderson.

What if any home had caught on fire and the difference in saving a life might have depended on the tax dollars that Jackson didn’t pay???

Shame on him!  And shame on anyone who doesn’t pay their taxes. You need to be held accountable!

Our tax dollars support education, provide public assistance, help the military, support our health-care system and a whole lot more.

Shame…Shame…Shame…


Former Henderson firefighter indicted, accused of tax evasion
By Jackie Valley


A federal grand jury has indicted a former Henderson firefighter for allegedly evading taxes for five years beginning in 2004. 

Dwight C. Jackson was charged with five felony counts of attempting to evade or defeat paying taxes during 2004 through 2008, according to the indictment. Officials allege Jackson was:
- substantially understating wages on his individual income tax returns.

- falsely claiming the Earned Income Tax Credit.

- filing his 2004, 2005 and 2006 individual income tax returns in an untimely manner.

- submitting false W-4 forms with his employer claiming he was exempt from federal tax withholding.

- attempting to conceal his actual income.

Jackson allegedly owes $130,741 in taxes for earnings amounting to more than $643,500 during that five-year time span, according to the criminal complaint. Jackson earned between $113,740 and $146,262 during 2004 through 2008 while working for the Henderson Fire Department and living in Henderson.

Henderson spokeswoman Kathleen Richards said Jackson retired from the Henderson Fire Department in November 2009 after working there since 1986.

Jackson was arrested Tuesday afternoon in Henderson and was scheduled to make an initial court appearance at 3 p.m. today before U.S. Magistrate Judge George W. Foley, officials said.

Jackson faces up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine for each count if convicted.



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10.20.2010

What More Can Be Said...


I don't know who the author of this story is, but please read these words today...



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.


She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.




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10.16.2010

The Truth About Deception

Once again another marriage has ended in my circle of friends, so what my husband did to me comes back around and shows it's ugly face.

I found an article about cheating. Cheating husbands to be exact... So below are the facts taken from the article and of course my remarks about the facts….

* Men are more likely than women to cheat. It is estimated that close to 50% of all men will cheat at some point in their lives.

How sad that we have lost from our hearts what God meant for marriage to be.


* Husbands are also more likely to engage in online cheating – using chat rooms, web cams and online services to arrange sexual encounters (including prostitution).

So when your husband leaves you and you find his computer is loaded with pornography - here's your sign.

* The more money a husband makes, the more likely he is to be unfaithful. Having more money brings more opportunity and wealth tends to attract more women

Or when your husband lets people think he is loaded so that the women are eager to be there…

* A lack of sexual excitement or the routine of having sex with the same person often leads men to stray. Men are more likely to be drawn to the thrill of having sex with someone new.


But if your husband was very vocal that your sex was good - the truth is - I think he fantasized about the woman he was with the night before…


* Husbands are less likely than wives to consider leaving their spouse when having an affair.


True…But when that husband meets some woman and sees that she or her family may pad his wallet or increase his wealth…he will leave.

* A cheating husband is more likely to have an affair with someone who is younger than his wife.

When I caught my husband cheating during our 34 year marriage it was always with a younger woman…  the one he left me for is 24 years younger than he is…


* When having a one-night stand, men are less choosy than women when it comes to selecting someone to have sex with.

I guess that would be the older fat and flat-assed woman my husband told me he had sex with??? Yeah he did tell me that!

* Husbands are more likely to feel that cheating is justified due to the lack of sex within a marriage.

So we didn’t have enough sex? Of course we didn’t! When you’re married to a addict ( and log-in times leave a trail of habitual obsession) it’s never enough!

* Husbands are much more likely than wives to be serial cheaters.

And my husband was!

And shame on him for cheating on his wife...even once!

And shame on me for forgiving him too many times!

And shame on the women who sleep with married men!

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com



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10.10.2010

Profile of a Sociopath

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

 Break The Silence and join the campaign "Paint It Purple" 


While this article was about mind-manipulating cult leaders who exhibit many of the behavioral characteristics of a sociopath--an outstanding ability to charm and seduce followers...it is also about those men who are abusers of women.
Those men also appear apparently normal, they are not easily recognizable as deviant or disturbed.



Glibness/Superficial Charm
Language can be used without effort by them to confuse and convince their audience. Captivating storytellers that exude self-confidence, they can spin a web that intrigues others. Since they are persuasive, they have the capacity to destroy their critics verbally or emotionally.


Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They dominate and humiliate their victims.


Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." Craves adulation and attendance. Must be the center of attention with their own fantasies as the "spokesman for God," "enlightened," "leader of humankind," etc. Creates an us-versus-them mentality


Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and able to pass lie detector tests.


Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt

A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions

When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion, it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.


Incapacity for Love
While they talk about "God's love" they are unable to give or receive it. Since they do not believe in the genuineness of their followers' love, they are very harsh in testing it from their devotees and expect them to feel guilt for their failings. Expects unconditional surrender.

Need for Stimulation

Living on the edge, yet testing the beliefs of their followers with bizarre rules, punishments and behaviors. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy

Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Their skills are used to exploit, abuse and exert power. Since the follower cannot believe their leader would callously hurt them, they rationalize the behavior as necessary for their (or the group's) own "good" and deny the abuse. When devotees become aware of the exploitation it feels like a "spiritual rape" to them.


Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. The followers only see them as near perfect.


Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.


Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blame their followers or others outside their group. Blame reinforces passivity and obedience and produces guilt, shame, terror and conformity in the followers.


Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Totalist leaders frequently practice promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. This is usually kept hidden from all but the inner circle. Stringent sexual control of their followers, such as forced breakups and divorces, removal of children from parents, rules for dating, etc.


Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image and that of the group as needed to avoid prosecution and to increase income and to recruit a range of members. Is able to adapt or relocate as needed to preserve the group. Can resurface later with a new name, a new front group and a new twist on the scam.


Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them

2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them

3. Authoritarian

4. Secretive

5. Paranoid

6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired

7. Conventional appearance

8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)

9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life

10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)

11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim

12. Incapable of real human attachment to another

13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt

14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose

15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world


The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare. In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder." Order: Without Conscience: The disturbing world of the psychopaths among us by Robert D. Hare

http://web.archive.org/web/20050803075207/http://home.datawest.net/esn-recovery/artcls/socio.htm



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10.09.2010

It's About More Than Marriage....





This is about even more than a husband and wife. It's about where you fit into the lives of those people in your life...your families...

This is a lesson in life...

Your children grow up and must lead their own separate lives.

Your siblings have their own families and must live separate lives.

A husband and a wife are meant to take care of each other and not have the burden of care placed upon anyone else.



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10.08.2010

For John Winston Lennon



For John on his Birthday and Mine………

I can only IMAGINE what songs and artistry we have missed since you’ve been gone…………




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